Aye,the previous post was easily the worst post ever...anyway,The Department of Information will make it up to you,heres something to do thats as worthwhile as playing computer games/stoning/attending south east asia history lectures ...
George Orwell's 1984 was a big influence and inspiration to the Ministry of Enlightenment.Heavy heavy influence.Your government is only telling you this,not because Suharto no longer lives and all the dark secrets are spilling forth,but because the book was discussed during a literature lesson.More importantly,im here to pay homage to 1984,and George Orwell.
But really,one ought to know that your supreme leader has never completed the book before.He has however,attempted twice,and is considering a third attempt.He failed the first time due to extraordinary commitments to the Ordinary Levels Examinations and the second time due to an inability to put up with specific idealogy elaboration.He did make it to Winston actually meeting the Brotherhood and reading that daft book though...
If you do not know what im talking about.I apologise for being such a smartass , and you might wanna check out what wikipedia has to say .Even if u do know what im talking about,you probably will still think i m a snobby smartass,for that i apologise.
"Really,its just a simple psychological phenomenem" -The Gods Must Be Crazy
vjc here i come! it wasnt easy,and really im quite shocked! but still it was only made possible by the efforts of the teachers.Teachers of CHS,i take my hats off to you!I also wanna thank my family,and a special mention to Mrs Alice Long and Miss Thian ,thanks for all your hard work and selfless devotion! Not forgetting class mates of 4-1,you guys are kickass,thanks for all the help and encouragemnt,im really grateful to know such a fantastic bunch of people!!!!(esp those who helped with math)
To those who didnt do ideally,please,dont be sad,dont lose faith or be disheartened.Your worth is never measured by some dumbass result slip,you are so much more then that.If you have a dream,protect it,live it,work it and dont,never ever give in!Be the bamboo,resilient,it bends in the wind,but never breaks!i know i may never know how you feel,but ill keep you in my prayers,and on your part,hang in there and move along
and not forgetting God too,with Him,all things are possible!
Mmmm,the MOE did some research recently,and realised that kids nowadays don t even know their basic stuffs,as such,a new syllabus revamp is going about.
Of course the MOE in this case is the Ministry of Enlightenment,and the new syllabus we re talking about is Pronunciation!
Lets start with some basic words,like
this you stick your tongue outwards in between your teeth at the 'th' and then pronounce the 'is'. ready?GO!
very good!lets move on to more important stuff shall we,to BIGGER,more important words such as your party leader's name.
lets try to pronounce aloy think its easy?well its not,so many people have been getting it wrong,instead of purging you however,the great leader has decided to give everyone a chance and teach them the correct way to pronounce this relatively easy (but nonetheless important) word.
aloy-say "a" , "a" as in a house.and then "loy" simple enuff huh?go a-loy.now you try....
goood!
remember though,its never
alloy- dont ever add the extra l,cos the next thing before you know it,you ll be calling me a mixture of metals,and everyone will be forced to laugh at your sharp observation
er-loy-gross!
and most importantly,its never never never never ever
then again,anything is fine ,my friends call me aloy,but you,you can call me tonight!hahahahahaha,LAME! seriously,anything is fine,aloe-bits,aloha,alloy,aloy,loy loy,loykee....
I'm not one to speculate or gossip but,im a Cat High History Student. So,when i saw this,my mind started to whirl ... our dear form teacher finally changes her display pic,check that against what i ve seen in the past year,my high level inference would be....
A famous conversation in history that occurred after the Mnistry Awards 2007,a discussion between the three greatest world leaders,it ultimately changed the course of history...
Stalin:My God,was nt that the best awards ceremony ever? Hitler:O yea,i couldnt agree more!The Ministry did a great job.Certainly beats your show trials eh,Uncle Joe? Stalin:Haha,(dryly) very funny my fellow extremist ruler... Hitler:Haha,just joking there old chap...but you have got to admit,the closing act was the icing on the cake. Stalin:Precisely!A superb way to end the show would'nt you say? Mao:(In Chinese)What in God's sake are you two talking about? Hitler:Oh!You mean you missed the closing act? Mao:Hey,i was busy trying to launch the Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution after the immense failure of my Great Leap Forward Hitler:Oh,how unfortunate for you then to have missed it.You have my utmost condolences Mao:(pathetically) Awwww... Stalin:Hey hey,whats with the glum face Tse Tung,theres always youtube you know? Mao:O ya!but the internet wasnt invented yet back then when i was the badass ruler of China.
This Post a probably a year late ,special thanks of course to our beloved Fujitsu...
Well,everybody's making a list of 2007's BESTS,without further ado,the Ministry gives you our very own list.Since it's my list,anything that qualifies for 2007's BEST will of be anything that I(ME.mine.Aiyeee.) discovered/did in 2007.
withour further ado,lets get this show on the road!
'drum roll,catcalls,searchlights,applause'
THE MINISTRY'S BEST OF 2007 why don't we start with some common awards...
BEST KNOWN SONG -No,not umbrella you ll need me to tau pok me with edmund,yin han,charles at one shot before i even say i like that song.2007's best song in IMO(in the ministry's opinion) is My Chemical Romance 's Welcome to the Black Parade.Why?Because its totally Bohemian Rhapsody,or maybe not,which is another song of the century,and because i say so.
BEST UNKNOWN SONG -Haha,hands down people,this goes to THE CORAL-IN THE MORNING.Yea yea,it wasnt even made in 2007,so what?It only made its way to the Ministry's Noise Orchestra in 2007.Need further convincing?get me an empty printing paper box and a marker. BEST SONG NOT of 2007 -well its Howie Day's Collide,who can forget Miss Thian's touching and inspiring Graduation Day Video?Plus,The Ministry has never stopped loving this song.Its GREAT!Don't watch the music video though,doesnt do justice to such a great song.Speaking of Justice... BEST MUSIC VIDEO -Okay,this one,i really like,dont know about you guys.Just watch it yourself! Justice - D.A.N.C.E
Enough with music already,sure,life without music is a mistake,but life without football,now thats an even bigger mistake
BEST GOAL -mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,i dont exactly watch football,but just for the hell of it,ill give my goal of the century.
Dennis Bergkamp,master class!o bother,i guess you could say this really shouldnt be here then.
BEST SAVE -if i ve got a best goal,then surely there must be a best save.well u got that right,once again,from a time way before 2007,its david seaman,with the save of teh century
BEST FOOTBALLER okay,2007's Footballer of the year,mmmmm i would love to agree with all the papers and say Kaka,but in all honesty,i ve never seen Kaka play football before,i dont even know how he looks like,so im going to give it to kevin liam!wohoooooo!yay yay!finally, a local bags an award at the prestigious Ministry Awards.Kevin,Singapore's proud of you.
with great balance,poise,vision and incredible talent,Kevin makes deadly accurate crossings and deceptively simple passes that slice the best defenses apart.He's the heart of any team he plays in,the clockwork that keeps them ticking.heres a picture
Okay nuff bout sports already.Lets move on to other awards
BEST PICTURE this,is really,a pulitzer prize winning picture,and what makes it even better is that the party responsible for the picture is none other than the Ministry itself.without further ado,our picture of the year...
Description:Our dear Wilson gets a reality check during the revival round of Campus Superstar,o ya,before i forget,the total score is 30.The photo was taken at the exact instant the results were released,of which he covered his face in disbelief and said:Oh My God
BEST SLEEPER In the final months of the o lvls , charles maxed out his sleeping routine to include all lessons and even staying back after school to catch up on sleep.As such,he managed to pull ahead of defending champion of 2006 leon's in the final lap to be our BEST SLEEPER of 2007.
Master and Apprentice
BEST CLASS
nuff said.Can't feature the more famous version of this pic due to a particular party's no consent.hais
BEST TV SHOW well,before the holidays,i might have said The Simpsons.But,but,i discovered another program that makes the Simpsons not funny.It's none other then
oh,how i love thee friends,everything from the jokes,to the starting soundtracks,to the laughtracks.Gosh,gotta watch it to know it!once again,so what if it probably ended way before 07,i only discovered it in 2007.Its rofl,lmao,lol .
BEST BLOG Well,as much as id love to plonk the url " http://propagandapuppets.blogspot.com,The Ministry of Enlightenment here,i can't cause really,the ministry is no match for the
http://maddox.xmission.com/ BEST PAGE IN THE UNIVERSE
really gotta read this to know it,gotta thank another good blog,but certainly not the best http://www.bigmattress.com/weblog/ for the webbie though.Anyway,Maddox in certainly the most badass,laugh ur ass off blogger ever,however,he seems to hate children ...
BEST ENTRY honoring the very post that put this blog in your bookmarks folder(hopefully),the Ministry's best post is
-start
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Breakthrough
Breakthrough
Recently,a research by the Department of Truth here at The Ministry has revealed some startling evidence about Catholic High.It's something quite out of the ordinary and scientists believe this invaluable discovery will be a solution to our biggest problem-Global Warming.Ladies and gentlemen,i give you-
THE CH CONNECTION
Shocking eh?notice the startling similarities!amazing eh.not satisfied?read on!
Eh?EH?what do you think now?the most incriminating piece of evidence yet!
coincidence or conspiracy?
you decide.
-end
BEST TEACHER Mrs Alice Long-for your hardcore dedication and never say die attitude,the Ministry is forever in your debt for rescuing my e-math.Not wasting a single second and teaching us terms like rainbow,housekeeping,climbing mountain,fishing,saturday night fever,you are an amazing teacher.The first ever teacher to hold a 7am-7pm remedial,your constant dedication and effort is really appreciated.Mrs Long,a real miracle worker,we at the Ministry salute you,ten times over!
PERSON OF THE YEAR alright,im kinda running out of awards here already,how bout the most prestigious on of them all,a real good one.Time's Person of the Year may be Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin , but hey,we say no to some Russian President in a far away land.
Our person of the year,is someone closer to home,a truly inspirational figure.Its
SOO GUO KAI
is The Ministry's person of the year because of his remarkable comeback and because of his inspiring spirit.The start of year 2007 saw the amazing powers of Guo Kai,when he achieved full marks for his A-maths paper.He then went on to top the class in chemistry and eventually class 4-1.Despite being an avid gamer in secondary two and three,he made a superb comeback in the year of 2007 and eventually became the top few in terms of academic achievements in his cohort.With such abilities at hand,he took it upon himself to help the weaker students of the class *cough*cough*aloy*cough,giving them constant encouragement and advice.This is what we call person-of-the-year material baby!Furthermore,Guo Kai received class wide fame for his attempted operation RK,though it was a miserable failure,the attempt of the operation itself is noteworthy because of its immense difficulty and outright impossibility.Guo Kai also leads a balanced lifestyle and has achieved outstanding results in Singapore's Youth Golf scene.An outgoing person,he is well known for his sociable character when it comes to communicating with his fellow class mates.His methods involve a combination of grabbing,groping and shaking.Despite all this,he remains humble and hardworking.
Guo Kai,we take our hat's off to you!
Okay,now for one last award,not really 2007ish
2008's BEST JC
VJC,hands down.
its kickass,super-duper,awesome blossom and omg the people here are uber cool.Even my civics tutor/form teacher is kick-ass.GOSH!A special shoutout to sub-grp RALEIGH and the OGLS,thank you!thank you a thousand times over for making my start at VJC such a good one.
and so,thats more or less the awards we have to give out,The Ministry's longest post so far.Wow.Do come back next year though,thank you!and Goodnight!
one nice shoebag a freshman towel a nicer organiser dance moves and new cheers and some real insane fun
its really awesome blossom,super duper,stylo milo and so much more.
its insane!never though i would say this but its too fun for me to handle.GOSH
The Ministry Is Proud To Present VJC with its Stamp Of Over-Approval! they even have a little red book for us freshies,Mao's handbook?nah,just a cheer booklet.
i think a song sums up the school best.VJC is totally...
